I did ask all the recommended questions.

I have assembled all of the responses in a document. There is lots of wonderful information that I simply couldn't include in a post. I will be happy to e-mail it to anyone who asks.

Again, thanks to everyone who responded. You helped make our adjustment to our new circumstances much easier. Please let me know if you want me to leave out either your contribution or your name when I forward the information to other parents helping their kids get used to glasses.

I don't have experience parenting through this, but I've worn glasses for as long as I can remember and my dad is a retired optometrist (I'll try and remember to ask him for suggestions next time I talk to him). As for your questions:

My experience (30 years of glasses) is that any change in prescription causes the above for some period of time. Your eyes and brain work together and the brain compensates for the bad signals. Now, you get new signals and the brain doesn't know what to do (how's that for a simplification). Anyhow, the best way to get through this period is to wear the glasses to get used to them. After a few days, everything gets more comfortable. This is assuming, of course, that the prescription is correct. If it isn't, then the symptoms won't go away.

This is tough since you can't reason with her effectively and she's too young to have a concept of long term harm. Perhaps a reward system?

Like I mentioned, perhaps a reward for wearing them. You could start simply by rewarding multiple hours. I wouldn't advocate "wear a little, take them off" because that will make the adjustment period tougher. As for the second part, if I knew the answer to that, I'd be rich :-)

Yes

You should probably start out doing it yourself. Her first responsibility should be to avoid losing them!

This is called Visual Training. I don't think it's as common now as it used to be. My dad did it and listed it as a specialty. He would teach them the exercises to do and they would also do them at home. Ask your optometrist.

Can you make one? When Billy had his surgery, we "operated" on an Ernie doll. Maybe a biggish doll that Morganne can make glasses for and then she can be the mommy, teaching the doll to her its glasses and take care of them?

Unfortunately, kids will tease. I was teased for years, but I knew I couldn't see without them. Having an optometrist for a dad helped too. Billy's dentist commented that he never had trouble with his kids brushing their teeth. Que sera sera. The best you can do is build up her self-image to ward off the taunts.

Umm -- are you dealing with an ophthalmologist or an optometrist? I'd strongly recommend the former if she has lazy eye problems.

No, but when my prescription changes, it takes me a day or two to get used to it.

My daughter is about to get glasses (after eye surgery...); fortunately, she has a very positive attitude towards them, since not only do my wife and I wear glasses, her best friends do.

She'll have to.

I'd worry most about the child losing them, or sitting on them -- and the best way to prevent those problems is to make sure she wears them all the time.

There's a book entitled something like Watch Out, Ronald Morgan; our kids liked it even before this came up.

Our ophthamologist says that for eyes turning out, they're of limited effectiveness. I didn't pay too much attention, since Rebecca didn't fit one of those cases.

Try to get her involved in picking them out; let her have a free choice of frames. We're lucky about Rebecca's attitude, but she's already identified the frames she wants, from passing the by the optician's office. And that was her own doing, not our prompting -- but it means that she's going to *like* them, at least in one respect. What questions should I ask the eye doctor?

Ask what the consequences are of not wearing them (i.e., will it make things worse), and ask about the likelihood of surgery being needed, not for the farsightedness, but for the lazy eye. I say this so that you'll know how big a deal to make of this -- is there lasting harm from not doing it? We had to fight with Rebecca to get her to wear her eye patch, because we knew that that was the only chance to avoid surgery. It didn't work, of course, but not for lack of trying.

Does your daughter have any relatives to whom she can talk about wearing glasses? Rebecca is, understandably, nervous about the prospect of surgery; we invited her to call my brother -- who's a physician, the father of Rebecca's beloved cousin Sarah, and who had similar surgery as a child -- to discuss the situation.

I got headaches when I wore glasses with glass lenses because they were heavy. I got plastic lenses.

This is tough. I resisted glasses for decades :-( However if she wears them long enough she will no longer have the compensation skills she has now and then not being able to see will bother her.

No but go to the library and look through old fashion magazines for the articles on how glasses have become cool among actors and actresses.

Explain how she will be able to do some things better when she can see. Tell her that when she's older she can get contacts. If the bright sun bothers her do spend the money for prescription sunglasses. Let her pick the frames.

Yes. It means that the glasses are not right--wrong prescription, or the center of the lenses is in the wrong place. For me, it was a correction for an astigmatism that exists only when I'm in the doctor's office--otherwise, I'm merely myopic. As with any other product, glasses can be simply wrong. Having the center off by even a millimeter can be bad!

Often claims are made for eye exercises that are absurd, such as that they can help myopia. They can't. But it's not inconceivable that they could help in your daughter's case, so you should look into it.

My best friend was jealous of me when I got to get glasses (age 8). Be sure you get the 'coolest' looking glasses you can, and make sure they're unbreakable and get the scratch-resistant coating.

You should check with the eye doctor about this. Maybe there is something else that she can do to help her fix the other problems.

My oldest son is 11 now, and has been wearing glasses for a couple of years. He shares a near vision focus problem with me. He got an eye exercise from the doctor when he got his glasses. The doctor told him if the exercise didn't help his problem, he faced prism glasses and possibly bifocals. You can believe that this motivated him to do the exercises! I did it too, and it helped us both a lot.

Mike is nearsighted, so I basically just let him do what he likes. He wears them most of the time. Not being able to see much is a great motivator! Also both his dad and I have poor vision.

No. See above. Most of the time, though.

Well, we showed him how to wash them. We did manage to break and lose a tremendous numbers of pairs of glasses in the first year. Things are better now. I'd definitely recommend those eye places that have the "free replacement" deals available. They were a godsend for us.

No, no books for anyone below the teenage years.. But if you find some, please post a list.

Ask your eye doctor. Mike and I got an exercise for our specific problem.

See above. Check with what will happen if Morganne doesn't wear her glasses, and have the eye doctor tell her about it.

Also try to find out what she doesn't like about them. Maybe they are the wrong prescription, or maybe the frames are uncomfortable. Some frames are really heavy.

Yes, I have had that problem. I find it worse now that I wear contact lenses. The worst part is that the disorientation causes me to feel nauseous. As long as I'm wearing my contacts, I'm fine. There is just enough difference in how the glasses affect my vision, though, that I find myself getting lightheaded and nauseated just a few moments after putting them on. Since I have to remove my contacts for 12 hours every 2 weeks, I have to wear glasses or go without for those 12 hours. That is very difficult: I can't see without them, and the glasses are really unbearable.

Glasses didn't help me any in this regard. What helped me was (and is) eye exercises. Everyone's different, and I'm not trying to say that Morganne is just like me. However, I found that teaching my eyes to work together helped me more than anything else.

When I was little, dad would take a tiny little flashlight (penlight) and move it around in a pattern suggested by the eye doctor, and request that I follow the light. I found having the bright light in my eyes so painful that I quickly learned to do the eye exercises without his help.

I focus on a nearby object, like a plant. I focus for a while, looking at the plant, then when my eye feels a little tired, I pick a different object, at a different focal distance, and look at it for a while. If I have been looking at close up objects for a while, I will work on faraway objects, and vice versa. The key is to try to keep the eye working with it's mate as long as possible. When I get bored with the exercise, or have done 3 or 4 exercises, I stop. I do this approximately twice a day.

I don't know that you can. When I was a teenager, the doctor prescribed bifocals for me. I kept tripping on the stairs, and got REALLY nauseated when I would try to walk around. I started just removing the darn things when I was away from my parents, and walking around half-blind. Not good!

Looking at it from Morganne's point of view, if I had glasses that were 20/20 in one eye, and 20/1000 in the other, this would throw everything off. Too much so, for someone who has learned to adapt to the bad vision in one eye. I would find the new information coming in from the bad eye very confusing, and the world would move in strange ways, inducing vertigo.

If she has been coping okay up until now, (without glasses at all, I mean) is there any reason why she cannot be given a less corrective prescription, and tried on that for a while? It might reduce the amount of distortion, and thus make it easier for her to tolerate the glasses.

I was supposed to. Until the bifocal fiasco, I did, because it made the world more pleasant, being able to see.

I am not sure, but I think my parents washed mine for me until I was old enough to clean my own.

Mmmm, sorry, I seem to have answered this already. Personally, I think a lot of the problems that eye doctors claim are acuity (20/1000 in one eye) are largely due to the lazy eye, for those who have lazy eye problems. If I'm really tired, my lazy eye can test really poorly. I always go in when I'm feeling relatively fresh, otherwise I get bad prescriptions.

Frankly, Heather, that might well be the problem. I can remember once going in for an eye exam when I was tired, and getting a really strong prescription, and I have to admit that I got so frustrated with the problems I had with those glasses that I was known to hurl them across the room. 8-( Could it be that Morganne's lazy eye is testing at 20/1000, but is really not that bad when she is able to really focus it?

I always liked mine because I got to pick them out. I could see the blackboard clearly, and finally understand what was going on in school.

I apologize for my rambling. I find this sort of issue a "hot button" for me, because of all I went through due to lazy eye. They wanted to put a patch on me, too, which I refused: my parents were not able to get me to wear it even once.

For me, the key was in explaining what the problem was, what the goal was, and allowing me a certain amount of say in my care. I was in 3rd grade though - isn't Morganne just about 3 years old? I don't know if just explaining it and enlisting her help would work.....

I got glasses at age 6 - I did not have lazy eye, but was simply very nearsighted. My mother tells me that I did have some disorientation, but that my joy at being able to see overcame that.

I was very reluctant to wear my glasses when school started. (I got them during the summer.) But again, the advantages outweighed the embarrassment over time. Do they wear them all the time? Since I don't know anything about your daughter's specific problem, I'm hesitant to answer this except to say I did and do wear my glasses at all times. I think that many older people (read: adults) who get glasses for the first time are reluctant to wear them all the time (or don't need to; i.e., reading glasses) and that this is where we get the concept of constantly taking glasses off and putting them on. For a child I would be inclined to say keep them on all the time - that way they don't get lost!

This is a little old for a 5 year old, but A Wrinkle In Time by Madeleine L'Engle, and its sequels A Wind in the Door and A Swiftly Tilting Planet feature an intelligent, glasses-wearing heroine.

I think stressing the fact that it's so wonderful to be able to see well - but don't stress it too much. It sounds like you are working to overcome your prejudice against glasses, and you probably don't want to bend over backwards in the other direction - your kid will think something's up! :-)

I'm not a parent, but I read misc.kids anyway. I am legally blind (though I am nearsighted, unlike your daughter), and I thought I would add my $.02. For reference, I have been wearing glasses since I was 1yo.

I can't help you with this one, though her ears may hurt a bit from the frames. Also, the weight of the frames may cause discomfort (possibly the headaches) If Morganne is not bothered enough by her vision to want to wear glasses, how can we encourage her to wear them so to fix her lazy eye and tendency to cross her eyes?

Since she is so young, maybe you could help her wash them when she washes her face and brushes her teeth. That way she can do all the cleaning at once.

I know they exist from when I visited the special ed. classroom. Maybe you can ask your local elem. school. Also there are organizations that can be of assistance. There are usually local ones, but the National Federation of the Blind of California Inc. (5982 South Land Park Dr. Sacramento, CA 95822; ph# (800) 775-2226) may be of some assistance.

I bought a cabbage patch doll that has glasses a few years back. She is in mint condition. If you really want one and can't find one, I'd donate mine.

Another point will be when she starts school. Don't take what the school officials tell as the final word. When I was in school, I was always pressured to be in special ed but I didn't need it except on a consultation basis. Talk to the teachers, because many people (in general) think that a vision problem = stupid and unintelligent. Also many teachers get on edge when they have a student with a vision prob. (personal experience). You may eventually want to have a lengthy evaluation to see if your daughter will benefit from visual aids.

I always wore/wear my glasses, but due to my vision prob. I also squint alot. I won't bore you with any more details. I was teased all through school and I still get flack sometimes at college. I don't want to get you down, but I just want to tell you so that you will not think that it goes away. I'm sure you have a wonderful relationship with your daughter and talking to her as she grows will be beneficial to her and you. There are many organizations out there to help you, and I hope any of this has helped :-).

p.s. I know that there is an elastic band to put around the glasses so that they won't fall off. Since she is small she may need this. This may help cut down on the glasses moving around on her face and her noticing them. I don't remember where you can get them, but I'm sure the eye doctor knows (it should cost a couple of dollars).

Before I start in on this, you should know that I've read your posts for several months now and have developed great respect for your parenting wisdom. I have a few opinions and advice to offer, but I doubt that you'll do better than your own intuitions and judgment.

My husband and I are both nearsighted and wear glasses. I've worn glasses since I was just a bit older than Morganne. I was a little surprised to hear your concern about "four-eyes". Neither my husband nor I can recall a single instance of this sort of name-calling. There are two children in Molly's class who have worn glasses since nursery school. They are both popular, and seem quite unselfconscious about wearing glasses.

This puzzled me. I've never heard of "loaner" glasses. What sort of doctor examined Morganne? I'd certainly recommend that you take her to an ophthalmologist, preferably a pediatric ophthalmologist. I would also recommend that both you and Gary go with Morganne. I think that if Morganne does need to wear corrective lenses, she needs to feel from the outset that this is a decision that both her parents have been party to.

From what you go on to say, I don't understand why you say that you and your mother have "the same problem." As Morganne? Lots of people begin to need glasses in late middle age (it's called presbyopia). This is entirely different from a young child's "lazy" eye. Again, your account of your own vision doesn't sound like a problem at all.

By the way, since you're (appropriately) worried about your own attitude, let me draw your attention to the ways you keep talking about the need for corrective lenses as a "problem" and eyes that are "bad". I've never thought of needing glasses as a problem, or that my eyes are bad. I'm extremely nearsighted and glad to live in an age when a little bit of plastic enables me to identify the indigo bunting on my birdfeeder 100 yards away!

Something's wrong with this picture! Well-fitted corrective lenses should NOT cause these problems!!!! Headaches, dizziness, distortions are unacceptable and unnecessary side effects of glasses. If I experienced these symptoms, I would go back for refitting, and if that didn't work, I'd find a new optometrist! I will say that it took about a week to get used to bifocals.

This is part of what puzzled me. If you can spot birds like that AND do needlepoint all without glasses, exactly where's the "problem"?

Right. That's why I'd recommend that all three of you seek the advice of an ophthalmologist who can explain exactly what is going on with Morganne's vision. From what you've said, your mother's need for glasses at age 5O, and your own excellent vision, are very poor indicators of Morganne's condition.

As above, I would be highly suspicious of ANYONE who tried to convince you that these are necessary side effects of wearing corrective lenses! After a brief initial period of adjustment, these symptoms should not happen!

Unfortunately, your account suggests that you and Morganne have already gotten off on the wrong foot on this issue! I don't know how you can "reset" and start over. Again I think that all of you going to the doctor together, so that Morganne sees and feels that you're all together on this issue, might help somewhat. I do think you need to examine how much of the "resistance" is in fact coming from you! As long as Morganne senses that, she'll have a reason to resist herself.

No, but there are a couple of really nice episodes of Little House on the Prairie that highlight Mary's glasses. I recall one episode in which Mary gets glasses for the first time, children make fun of her, she tries to "lose" her glasses. I remember this episode from years ago. I may be imagining it. . . Do any of the LHP novels deal with Mary's eyesight? Molly hasn't read them yet and I never did...

The American Girl line has one named "Molly" who wears glasses.

Good luck!

Liffey Thorpe posted an excellent response to your post, and I won't try to repeat what she said. I agree with most of her points. Let me make some additional comments and tell you about my daughter who also has amblyopia (lazy-eye).

I don't think lazy-eye is directly hereditary, but that's my opinion.

I hope you had other clues to her condition, because hitting a baseball is one of the most difficult sport skills to master. Even adults with perfect vision find it difficult. I'm sure your husband may have had other indications of her vision problem.

Again, as Liffey Thorpe suggests, consult a pediatric ophthalmologist. I wouldn't trust loaner glasses, since they're not prescriptions that necessarily match her needs. I don't know if they were fitted properly, but they could be uncomfortable as well.

My understanding (fuzzy as it is) is that lazy eye and crossed eyes frequently appear together, but are actually two-different problems. Lazy eye is the tendency for one eye to dominate. Vision from the weak eye is suppressed, and when suppressed for lengthy periods, the muscles weaken and the result is virtual blindness in the weak eye. Patches covering the strong eye give the weak eye time to exercise, thereby saving the eye from atrophy. It may be that the crossing of the eyes promotes lazy eye since the crossed eye will not see normally and the brain suppresses the images from that eye. Corrective glasses are supposed to encourage the eyes to focus together providing the brain more of an opportunity to merge images from both eyes and thereby train the wearer to see correctly.

With a proper prescription and a correct fitting, glasses shouldn't do this. It may take a day or two to get used to glasses, but problems that persist should be addressed by your ophthalmologist.

You have to be the parent here and do whatever you can to get her to wear the glasses. No child will voluntarily do something they don't like. I was told that a child's vision becomes more or less permanently set at age nine, so treating her vision now is vitally important.

Praise her for wearing glasses. Tell her how good she looks in them. Tell her that not all kids are mature enough to have glasses, etc. In other words, give her some positive feedback for doing the right thing.

Alternately (and a method which I like less) you can tell her that they may have to do surgery if she doesn't wear the glasses/patches. If she wants strong eyes, she'll have to wear them, etc. I don't like threatening kids with things which may not occur, but you may need to. She has to understand that this is important and that she doesn't have a choice here.

I don't think that's she's displayed "extreme resistance" yet. But I could be wrong. You have to exercise discipline and reward her for good behavior (wearing the glasses). It would help if you and your husband wore glasses, but since you don't you'll have to play up the positive side of it. If you think it would help, you could buy a pair of glasses with just plain glass or plastic lenses and wear them out of support for her.

My daughter is advised to wear the glasses whenever she's awake. So yes, she's supposed to wear them all the time. This breaks down obviously when she goes swimming, or is really roughhousing and in other situations where they could get lost or damaged.

My daughter doesn't pay particular attention to their care. I clean them daily.

No, and if you find any books, I'd like to hear about them.

I've heard about them, but if you have problems getting Morganne to wear glasses, then it's going to take even more discipline to get her to do the exercises. I haven't heard my ophthalmologist mention any exercises that we should be doing.

Again, I don't know of any, but you might like to make glasses for one of her favorite dolls. Or buy a cheap pair of kids sunglasses and use them on a new for favorite doll.

Well, I could send you a picture of my daughter who looks real cute in hers... :-) Seriously, she needs to feel that she's OK with the glasses, that you love her and think she's great WITH the glasses. Try not to overemphasize them to the point of making her self-conscious, but do tell her what a great job she's doing.

Ask about the severity of her problem, how long the treatment is likely to take, whether surgery is an option or a last resort, what the outcome will be if the treatment fails. He may also have knowledge of books, and pictures that show kids with glasses. Also as mentioned earlier, go to a pediatric opthamologist.

My husband and I noticed that my daughter Sarah's eyes were crossed at 3 months of age. Our ped. thought that she might grow out of it by 6 months, but it didn't and she went to the opthal. at 9 months, and has been wearing a patch since she was 10 months old. She's been wearing a patch for as long a she can remember so it's probably been easier for her to adjust to. Up until she was 4.5 she would wear the patch in the morning until lunch time and then remove it. Since that time, we've been puting on the patch after school (daycare) and trying to get 4 hours in before bedtime (with marginal results). She was becoming more self-concious at 4.5 and didn't want to wear the patch which in pre-school. It would appear that apppearances are more becoming more important at this age, and this could be a factor in Morganne's resistance. If she need to wear a patch, try to be as consistant as possible.

There are times when she doesn't like it and complains about having to wear a patch. Not frequently though. We just have to explain that she won't have to wear it her whole life and she will get to a point where it won't be necessary.

Sarah got her glasses at about 3 years of age. Her long distance vision is pretty good so she got bi-focals to correct her short distance vision. (It was really weird to have a 3-year old with bifocals...!) There have been times that she's wanted to put on her glasses so she could see better.

If you buy glasses, get plastic lenses as thin as you can to reduce the weight. It was also worth it to buy the insurance as we did have a couple of times where the frames got banged up and needed repair.

Sarah's vision is improving slowly, but we just have to keep going with it. With luck, we'll avoid surgery.

Good luck.

Before we get to the questions, are you dealing with a pediatric optho.? It doesn't sound like it, and I'd switch if you possibly could. Getting kids used to glasses isn't like doing the same for adults, and I'd say the approach sounds pretty abrupt for a kid her age. And while I'm digressing, I'll put in my "qualifications", such as they are. I was born with one eye severely nearsighted and one severely farsighted. Typical lazy eye developed, but wasn't caught until I was 5 and had my first at-school eye test (and couldn't find the sign, quite literally). I pronto got glasses and a patch. I also have a severe astigmatism in one eye; more moderate in the other. The patch didn't work despite wearing it for 2 years; my brain simply refuses to use the weaker eye except under duress (e.g. the other eye is covered, or I am very, very, very tired, at night, and trying to read a sign on my "bad" side). So, I have no depth perception, but I've had a happy life anyway!

Of my 2 kids (now 6.75 and 3.5), my older child's eyes seem perfect, and the younger is suspected of have a lazy eye; she goes in for another check up next week (it is hard to accurately gauge it in a 2 year old, so we were asked to come back). She definately has some astigmatism and other vision problems but they aren't yet worth correcting. In addition, the 5 year old triplets across the street have 2 pairs of lazy eyes, one pair of crossed eyes, and 2 sets of glasses between them, so I've seen their treatment and progress too.

Absolutely; this is one of those things that goes without saying! The approach I've seen repeatedly today with kids is to introduce them slowly, to allow them more time to adjust. It is exhausting to see well when you never have before, and few people realize this unless they've been through it.

The kids across the street had schedules for both their glasses and their patches, with the latter being more rigid. Their glasses schedules started off with them wearing them 30 minutes a day, and the parents were encouraged to figure out when it would be least bothersome -- when they were busy playing outside, or watching TV, or having dinner, or whenever it seemed to least affect them (I can tell you that trying to go up/down stairs with a new pair of glasses is *still* a major stomach lurcher for me, so I'd tend to avoid situations where the child is using a lot of depth perception). The schedule then ramped up to more and more time AND the kids were gently encouraged, but not forced. Slowly each learned that the world was nicer with the glasses on, but that took awhile, and it isn't that surprising that it should.

It doesn't seem any different from the disorientation both my kids showed for a few days when they got ear tubes -- their brains were flooded with LOUD sounds that had been mere murmurs before; they learned to "tune it out/down" over the course of a few days, but we protected them the best we could until they seemed more adjusted.

The lazy eye undoubtedly will be patched, and you will just work out a schedule for it; if she hates to wear it out, do her time when you are mostly alone at home. If that doesn't bother her, but wearing it when she is doing close work does, then arrange it so she doesn't have to wear it then, at least at the beginning. You can't do this perfectly, but you can make it really clear to the child that you are working with her. I can't speak for the crossed eyes because I have no direct experience, and the triplet that had them has required surgery (twice) to correct it.

I'd say you got off on the wrong foot (no discredit to you; you didn't get any advice to go on). You've got to see if the resistance is just because of the disorientation/etc, or whether there are other aspects too (social, sometimes, but she may be too young for that part to bother her, which would be a plus). Then work out a schedule of least impact like mentioned above, and she is likely to come around in time, but be prepared for it to take time, and don't make it a battle ground.

She has another year to kindergarten, I'd guess, and even in kindergarten they don't use the board that much, so she isn't going to suffer if it takes 6 months to get her wearing them full time. Make it clear to her that you feel badly about how things started. If you switch docs, or talk again about a more realistic approach with your current doc, then you can tell her that. And then don't turn it into a battlefield; think like toilet training! You know she needs to do it, and you know she will know it too, but later, so you want to guide, but not push. If she feels too overwhelmed or exhausted to deal with it now, allow her to have that control, as long as she's wearing them on the scheduled you agree to.

See above; not usually at the beginning. I vividly remember snatching mine off the second I got away from adults; they HURT, but I was supposed to wear them all the time. My patch was also clipped to my glasses and I got very creative about tipping my head funny ways to peer out under it; now they use the stick on kind to prevent this!

You've got years before you can expect this. Make one place where glasses go, and stick to it -- no putting them in your pocket just because you don't want to go inside to put them in their proper place. Obviously, you are going to have to have a place for when you are at home and for when you are out. Your daughter is old enough to handle that part of it, with some work and reminders. You are going to have to clean them, and do it a lot; they will get unbelievably filthy in a big hurry, and fingerprints and dirt will make the vision disturbances even worse than when they are clean. Make sure the fit is checked regularly; kids heads grow fast and they can hurt big time if they aren't the right size (and it never occurred to me to tell my parents; they'd eventually notice either marks on my nose/ears, or notice me rubbing behind my ears a lot.)

For you, or for her?

I'm going to stay out of this one; the opinions are strong, and very divided.

One of the "Pleasant Company" dolls wears glasses, is gorgeous, has her own book, and costs a bundle, but might be a lot of fun if you can afford it! If you don't get their catalog, I could get the number at home. I also think that the girl Ramona in the Beverly Cleary books wears glasses, and they are pretty funny books. I could be wrong though; that has been quite awhile for me! Ask your local children's librarian; a good one will probably consider it a fun challenge to help you find such things! And don't overlook glasses-wearing boys either; you don't want to give her the idea that glasses are only for girls!

It depends on how she views them now. If she views them as a source of painful experience, then you are going to have to work on that. If she is aware of the social aspects of wearing glasses, then you can work on how many people she sees every day wear them (and how many more probably have contacts).

I was at the library yesterday, looking for something specific, and happened to cruise across the part about "bodies", and I know I saw a number of non-fiction books on the level of "So you are going to wear glasses", and "Look who has glasses now", and "Why do I have to wear glasses". Many of these might be past her level, but you can interpret, and get ideas.

I'd ask which problem is most urgent (I'd think it would be the lazy eye, or the crossed eye, with the far sightedness coming in way behind. Both the first two tend to "train" the brain to throw away one eye's image, and that is what they are trying to stop.

I'd also ask what the chances of success in stopping it is; when I was a kid, they believed that catching lazy eye by 5 was soon enough; that 80% or more of the kids could be retrained to use both eyes. But my pediatrician tells me that now the age is set around 3; not that there aren't plenty of "successes" after that age, but that the odds of changing the use patterns are much higher the younger the child. I'm not sure about crossed eyes.

I'd also ask of the crossed eye problem has anything to do with fatigue; some kids cross when they are tired, and instituting stuff like "you don't have to go to sleep, but it is time for you to rest your eyes and I will tell you a story" might help that. I'd also definitely ask for a more reasonable approach for a 4 year old, one that takes into account her general nature and the large shift she is being asked to make. I'm sure you will get much more helpful answers from those who's own kids have been through it recently. But I hope I've got a few useful ideas for you!

An ophthalmologist is a fully trained MD that has chosen to specialize in the eye and its diseases. You are right -- they can do surgery, and can prescribe medications that an optometrist cannot (I'm not sure exactly where the line is drawn; I believe the optometrist can prescribe certain medications, but since I've never needed them, I'm not sure). They are the only smart choice for *diseases* of the eye.

Optometrists are trained to test your eyes, and prescribe glasses, but haven't been to full medical school. There are laws in every state that govern just what kind of training they do have, but generally it is very good and they know what they are doing. Like with many other medical matters, some people feel that ophthalmologists are "better" simply because they are MDs. They may be better for certain problems in certain cases, but they are by no means always just the ticket. They certainly tend to be more expensive, and using resources wisely is becoming the catchword for medical care in the '90's.

I've been to both, and had good and poor prescriptions from both. My experiences (which could be completely skewed) is that ophthalmologists tend to be more expensive, more rushed, and have more crowded offices with longer waits. On the other hand, I got a pretty poor optometrist about 18 months ago that marked down reversed +/- values on my prescription that resulted in several very unpleasant days for me; talk about disorienting!

As a child I was originally taken to an ophthalmologist, and continued to see him until I was old enough to protest loudly enough. The guy may have been very talented, but he was a jerk and ran his office poorly. Even at 5 I didn't have to be a rocket scientist to figure this out; I really hated the guy, though I eventually came to love the glasses and the vision they gave me. When I was about 9 or 10 I got up the energy to complain, and we switched to an optometrist that was good with kids, took his time, was patient, and understood the attention limitations of children. I liked him much better.

By that time it was clear I didn't have a disease of the eye; just incredibly messed up vision! (My vision in each eye is about 20/800, but unfortunately, in opposite directions, so the difference is dramatic. No wonder my brain gave up! As I've aged, the one eye has moved in the direction of the other, so the difference is now much less than when I was a child, but it doesn't matter much, since my brain won't use the images). Hope this helps! It doesn't sound like there is much choice in your area anyway.

And one other item -- though they don't encourage it, you are free to take your prescription anywhere to be filled, and if there is someplace with a really great selection of kids frames, then it might be worthwhile (though I realize they were already ordered). In our area, there are a number of "1 hour" glasses places, and you can take a prescription from anywhere there to be filled. Ours tend to be large, and quick, and have a great selection of frames for less than you'd pay where you had your eyes examined, so sometimes it is worth it. Sometimes it isn't worth the hassle though.

Yes, whenever I get a new prescription it takes at least a day or so to really get used to them. Often that means headaches. When the correction for astigmatism is changed a lot that often causes dizziness - not so much that I can't drive or walk. I don't do anything for it except maybe some Tylenol for the headache. It passes soon enough.

Let her pick out the frames. Don't let her know you think it's so terrible. It really isn't that bad, you know. I prefer being able to see with glasses over not seeing clearly at all. I'd miss out on a lot of the world if I didn't have glasses.

Since my kid doesn't wear glasses yet I don't really know how to answer most of your questions, but I think the main thing is that wearing glasses isn't the worst thing that ever happened to anyone. Probably the most useful things would be to make sure she actually likes the frames and that she doesn't think you think this is a "BAD THING".

I would be interested in a summary of the responses you get because I am sure that Ben will someday be wearing glasses. Both his father and I have very poor eyesight so it is only a matter of time.

Good luck.

This sounds pretty weird to me, but I don't wear glasses. I would get a second opinion, if at all possible.

I'm hoping you get advice from people with more experience, there was a boy in our pre-school that resisted wearing his glasses until his parents got him a "cool" pair. They wre pretty wild, but he loved them, and wore them more readily than the ones he started with. (They looked like light-blue pointy rims like something a Gary Larson "Far Side" lady would wear) I wouldn't have worn them either. Maybe if Morganne gets to pick out some frames that appeal to her, things will get better.

The only other advice I have to offer is the doll glasses. I've seen them at craft stores. Maybe Morganne would empathize if a favorite doll got to wear glasses, instead of a brand-new doll.

I hope you get some good ideas on the real vision issue, I guess I can't help there. Have I ever told you I think Morganne is a beautiful name?

Good luck

If Morganne DOES have to wear glasses permanently, you might check out Molly from The American Girl Collection. She wears glasses (though we got Molly for Erin and the glasses are bit difficult to put on since the doll doesn't have real ears to hold them.

YES, YES, YES! I often find the first day with a new prescription I am bordering on motion sickness all day. It was REALLY difficult when I switched to bifocals (just the thing to cheer me up for my 40th birthday :-(

If the queasiness doesn't pass in a couple of days, I take the glasses back. This happened when I bought some great looking glasses with flat lenses. I COULD NOT adjust to the flat lenses regardless of how cool the glasses looked.

A break-in period is very helpful. The first day only have her wear the glasses for a couple of hours at a time ("No, you HAVE to take them off, now. Your eyes will get tired."). The break will help her adjust to the glasses and may just entice her to claim her eyes are NOT tired and she WILL wear them longer :-)

How about some visual games. Try "what can you see now" games in a large area (so there is ample room for seeing at a distance). Let her experience the difference between seeing WITH the glasses and seeing without them. Since I am nearsighted and was practically blind by the time I got glasses, I can't really relate to Morganne. When I put my glasses on I was ecstatic. Wow that green blur I call a tree actually has LEAVES on it.

Don't yet. I'm speaking from my own perspective. Do they wear them all the time? I do. I love them. I have several pair because a person gets tired wearing the same old glasses all the time. Just like you'd get tired of always wearing the same shirt. I have nerdy glasses and sexy glasses and funky glasses. Mostly I just wear my John Lennon style glasses, but I HAVE others.

Well, that's harder. I have a friend who made her 9 YO pay for any glasses she lost or broke over 2 pair/year. As for me, I take lousy care of my glasses. My husband is always taking them off my face and cleaning them for me. He cannot comprehend how I can stand looking through them sometimes (like now, for instance :-)

Other than Molly (there are books about her, she grew up in the '50s and according to my friend looks just like me). I have heard about exercise programs that can actually improve poor eyesight. Do any of you have any information about eye exercises? Are there good books about eye exercise programs?

I think this can work for lazy eye. But it would be the same principal as a patch.

Catwoman wears glasses before she turns into Catwoman. Doubt that would help.

Eyeglasses were really hot in the 1950's and there are bazillions of photos of people wearing some outrageous eyewear.

Do they have a branch of LA Eyeworks up there yet? They believe that glasses ARE art, and their collection is outstanding. The children's collection is fabulous with lots of bright bold colors. The price may shock you at first, but I like to amortize the cost of my glasses over a 2 year period (how long they usually last) and then look at it as 3 cents a day :-) Plus, if you've had a lot of illness in the year, the cost of the glasses IS tax deductible.

The American Doll Collection (yes, I'm being redundant).

Try to find some fun glasses and avoid those "valley housewife" styles. Of course, one can never go wrong with basic round wirerims. That way the glasses are something she'll actually LIKE.

Show her all the different TYPES of glasses. For example, if she is into sports she could get a pair of sports glasses (and SHOULD).

Find some positive role models for her who wear glasses. Are there any people in her life that she loves that wear glasses? What questions should I ask the eye doctor?

Make sure the doctor checks the size of the glasses. There are lots of things that make them uncomfortable. For instance, I have a VERY small nose bridge. Most people don't care and just try to sell me glasses that don't fit. These always slide down my face.

Also, plastic lenses! The lighter, the more comfortable. Get the ear pieces checked. And check the glasses periodically for fit since they bend all out of shape so easily (especially the wire ones when a 2 YO jumps on your face :-)

Most of all, tell Morganne that she is joining good company

I have worn glasses since 1st grade. My husband started wearing glasses when he was 21 Our 6 year old doesn't need glasses Our 3 year old started wearing glasses last spring.

I think this is a very important thing to work on. It sounds like you don't like the idea of her wearing glasses and there is a very good chance she can sense this. If you haven't had your eyes checked in the last couple of years, maybe you should consider having them checked now. If you need glasses, the two of you could work on wearing them together.

No other kids have teased our daughter about her glasses at all. If anything, her friends seem to be jealous that they can't have glasses, too. We let her pick out the frames. They're a very bright blue with florescent green stripes! I wouldn't have even picked them for her to try, but they look great on her and many people complement her about her pretty glasses.

I still remember the first day I wore my glasses to school, but don't remember any one teasing me about them. Some jerks in high school made glasses comments, but I knew they were jerks, so it didn't matter much.

It really sounds like your dislike of glasses could contribute to the problem.

When our daughter started wearing her glasses, we were told she might have headaches for up to a week at first. Her eyes had been working very hard to function without the glasses. Being allowed to finally relax actually puts on strain on the eyes. She seemed to have some problems for the first 2-3 days. We were told that the problems could last for a week. If they lasted longer than that, we needed to check back with the doctor.

Our daughter would comment that she was tired of wearing her glasses. I kept telling her that if she was too tired to wear glasses, she should take a nap. She hates naps and immediately put the glasses back on. If your daughter is still in the ferocious fours, you could have more of a fight about it. There's a good chance she is getting close enough to the compliant-loves Mom- wonderful five year old that you could be in luck there, though.

Just about. Sometimes, she will come to breakfast without them.

The optician showed her how to care for her lenses, but I think that is too much responsibility for a 3 year old and she doesn't have the hand coordination to do it well. I've been cleaning her lenses every morning for her and during the day, if requested or noticeably dirty. When I feel that she can clean them, I'll work on that more. Based on our other child, I'm guessing she could be 6 or 7 before I think she can clean her own lenses. She is an independent little thing, though, so might decide on her own before then.

Arthur's Eyes deals with accepting the fact you need glasses, wearing them and actually liking them.

Some optometrists are trained in vision therapy. There are areas that this can help with and areas that it won't. My 6 year old went through a few weeks of vision therapy to improve her focusing (she was seeing double if anything was closer than 10-12" to her face). In a short time, she made great progress and can almost focus on the end of her nose. (I never thought I would be happy my child could look cross-eyed!) Glasses would not have helped her, but vision therapy cured her. There was no therapy that could have helped my 3 year old with her vision problems (astigmatism).

Pacific University in Oregon has vision therapy training. I believe that one of the optometrists that had done some of her training had received training in California, too, though. Can you check around and see if there's a good school for optometrists in your area?

BTW, you didn't ask, but ophthalmologists are no good for therapy. They specialize in surgery for diseases and injuries, mainly. I took my 6 year old to an ophthalmologist when she was 1 1/2 and again when she was almost 5. He is a top rated pediatric ophthalmologist in our area, but didn't even diagnose the focusing problem. I had thought since she was a baby that she didn't really seem to be using one eye. I was glad to finally learn that there was something wrong and even better, it was easily corrected.

Vision therapy is a specialty that optometrists can be trained in. It can be wonderful for some eye problems, but useless for others. You need to discuss it with an optometrist for more specifics.

Our experience with vision therapy follows... Since she was a baby, I thought my oldest daughter wasn't looking at me with one eye. She was examined by a pediatric ophthalmologist at 18 months. He couldn't see any problems and suggested that I might just be noticing it when she was tired. He checked her eyes again when she was 4. Once again, he could see no problem and thought she had normal vision. When she was 5 (this spring), she had a routine exam by an optometrist. I didn't mention my concerns about the one eye not working properly--the ophthalmologist had convinced me she was normal.

The optometrist immediately diagnosed a focusing problem. When she looked at anything closer than 10-12" from her face, her eyes quit working together and she was seeing double. She didn't realize that wasn't normal so had never mentioned it. It seemed so obvious once it was diagnosed. If we held anything close to her face and asked how many objects there were, she would say "2".

Our daughter went to vision therapy for 3 weeks and did homework assignments between the sessions. The homework involved reading with various powered flippers (for example going from +.5 to -.5 every few words) and doing maze puzzles. For the therapy sessions, the optometrist used an assortment of special equipment to encourage her eyes to work together.

Now, she can focus on objects that are close to her face and can almost look at the end of her nose and cross her eyes. (Something I never thought I would be pleased my child could do!.) Her focusing abilities are within the normal range. When she looks at me, it does look like she is using both eyes now. The vision therapy cured her focusing problems and she should not need any more sessions in the future.

On the other hand, our 4-year-old daughter's eyes focus well, but she has severe astigmatism. Vision therapy won't help that--she is wearing glasses.

Work on Mom and Dad's attitude about glasses :-)

Get a good explanation about exactly what is wrong with her eyes. See what suggestions he has for her wearing glasses. If he doesn't seem to be good with kids, find another one, who is.

Good luck with the eyeglasses. I hope it works out well. Perhaps you could post a follow-up in a couple of weeks about how it is going.

PS Re: vision therapy.

The optometrists in the one-hour shops at the mall probably are not trained in vision therapy. The therapist we went to had a large room full of various devices that were used for the therapy to help improve the way the eyes were functioning. The therapy wasn't just a little extra something in the examining room.

I would be concerned about these things. The first thing to recheck is that the prescription she has is right, and that it has been made up right. How you do this, either by going to a different person (optometrist, ophthalmologist or whoever) to redo the examination or just rechecking with the same person is a matter of circumstances.

Two years ago or so, I got a new pair of glasses, and instead of the instant relief I expect I got the disorientation. I was told it would take a few days to settle down and that it was normal. Well, it settled down after a week or so......18 months on my son broke these glasses and I put on the old ones - and RELIEF. I had them all checked out and that prescription was just wrong for my eyes!

Basically, my experience is that a new pair of glasses should be a pleasure and help you see better - I can always tell - not give headaches, dizziness or disorientation

I forgot to mention that the biggest problems I have had with glasses over the 25 years (11-36) I have worn them, is with sore ears!

It is tricky for the optometrist to get the balance right between tight enough to hold the glasses up on the nose (not slipping downwards) and tight enough to cause blisters!

I hope I can help. Right before I started kindergarten, mom switched ses, peds. First thing he said - she needs glasses (astigmatism and nearsighted.) Shortly after my 5th birthday I got my 1st pair of glasses (pink cat's eyes). That was a long time ago (almost 28 years). I don't remember whether I liked them or not, it was just nice to be able to see the TV.

You may want to go to the eye doctor with the glasses and have him check her vision with the glasses on to make sure that they are the right prescription. A wrong prescription will cause headaches and possible dizziness. If that is the problem, she may like wearing them with a pair that doesn't cause problems.

I had to wear them all the time - no time to get lost or misplaced.

Make a special place for her to put her glasses any time that she takes them off. That way they don't get lost or broken (of course with kids, this doesn't always work - I know from experience after sitting on my glasses one time when I was looking for them - mom wasn't happy).

I've heard that computer games can increase hand-eye coordination. You might find a simple child's game for her if you have a computer at home.

Let her pick out the frames. If she likes them maybe she'll wear them.