Socialization: the Dictionary Definition

I was reading the mini-flame war about homeschooling over in misc.kids and someone trotted the socialization bugaboo out again. I've always felt vaguely uncomfortable when someone asks about socialization. I realized that I'd never heard the word before I started homeschooling and that I didn't really know what it meant.

So I decided to look it up.

I found it under the word "socialize". Here's the definition:

To place under government or group ownership or control; establish on a socialistic basis.
To fit for companionship with others; make sociable in attitude or manners.
To convert or adapt to the needs of society.
To take part in social activities.

I was thrown by definition #1. Do we really want children to be owned or controlled by the government? To be socialized like medicine or railroads? I assume this is not what people mean when they talk about homeschooled youngsters receiving insufficient socialization, but I could be wrong.

If definition #1 is what people mean by socialization, then I'm afraid homeschooled children aren't going to be nearly as socialized as public schooled youngsters. Actually, I'd be more afraid of the people who want to socialize children in such a fashion. When I read definition #1, a chill went down my spine. Definition #3 bothered me too, seeming more suited to institutions than human beings.

Definitions 2 and 4 don't bother me at all. I'd like my children to be fit companions for other people. I'd like them to have manners and treat other people courteously and in a friendly manner. I want them to take part in social activities, to enjoy being part of the community.

I just don't see how children need to go to school to accomplish definitions 2 and 4.

So, someone tell me, please, what is this property of "socialization" and how is it conferred by the schools and not in any other way?

I know this topic comes up over and over again, but it's really bothering me now. I think that part of what may be meant by socialization is definitions 1 and 3, that people want our children to become good cogs in the machine, mindless members of the mass culture.

Forgive my melodrama. When I think of children who are taught to blindly obey authority and to fit in, I think of the horrors of Nazi Germany and the Stalin regime. I don't want to see that happen in this country.

My husband suggested that we make up T-shirts with the definitions of socialization on them and hand them out to people who ask about socialization. It's a thought.