Life as a Homeschooler

A typical week of unschooling goes something like this:

We have two daughters: Morganne (5.5) and Matisse (17 months). We are unschooling, which mean that we have no set curriculum and that learning in our house is interest-initiated. Learning, to our family, is part of living. We believe that young children can learn all of the basic academic skills as part of family life with no formal schooling.

Morganne has a few organized activities each week. She takes gymnastics twice a week. Earlier, she was also taking a painting class and a music class, but right now she's taking a breather. We participate in some activities sponsored by our school district's homeschool program. The biggest hit has been the monthly homeschool skate at the local roller rink.

Morganne has access to a lot of materials. She has an art supply cabinet in the kitchen that she has free access to at all times. We keep many toys, building materials and all sorts of books in the living room. She has full use of one of our two computers. Outside, we have 1/2 acre with a vegetable garden, a rose garden, flowerbeds, a lawn, a play structure and space for sand and water play. We also have coast redwoods, a huge old oak tree, birds, squirrels and a gray cat outside.

In the mornings, Morganne can choose her activities. She tends to run in cycles. One week, she will use the computer a lot, another she will practice writing and spelling, another she will spend a lot of time with dress-ups or the dollhouse, another she will work extensively with pattern blocks. Some mornings, she spends a lot of time with her books or her puzzles.

After lunch, we may choose to do a family project or go on a family outing. A family project is basically any activity that Morganne needs adult assistance or supervision to accomplish. Fancy art projects, carpentry, sewing, games, cooking projects, math activities, science experiments, gardening, candle making, etc. Some of these projects are adult-initiated and Morganne may choose to participate or not. Some of them are specifically requested.

A lot of our unschooling takes place in the car. Morganne asks lots of questions in the car. She also reads signs, works with math problems and makes comments about her observations. I don't know why, but some of our best discussions take place while driving.

Almost any excursion is educational. When we run errands, there are usually opportunities for math along the way. We observe many different types of businesses and talk about how things are made or the jobs that people do. Shopping is very educational. We may talk about how certain crops are grown or about ethnic foods or just whatever comes up.

Trips to the beach, park, botanical gardens, local museums, zoos, concerts, ballet, sporting events and so forth all have educational value as well.

I think one of the real values of homeschooling for us as a family is that we take the time to do things with our children. Instead of doing a project by ourselves, we include the children. We look for opportunities for family learning. We paint learning with a broad brush, not limited to academic subjects.

Evenings find Morganne helping with the dinner preparation and then more free time or family projects before the bedtime routine. We often read aloud after lunch, in the late afternoons and always for at least a half an hour before bedtime. Bedtime is another opportunity to discuss what's on Morganne's mind. It's one of those times when we talk about all sorts of things. We've discussed weather cycles, evolution, dissecting cadavers to help figure out how to help other people with the same illness, infinity and many other concepts.

Garry and I were talking about the ways in which homeschooling is beneficial to our children, our family and us parents. We had no idea of the huge positive scope of homeschooling before we began. Morganne has blossomed academically, socially, athletically, artistically and in many other ways. Our family life has been enriched, daily, by our shared experiences and explorations. The relationship between our daughters is a joy to watch.

We went to a birthday party yesterday. One of the other little girls was acting mean. She was name-calling and excluding the other children from her little clique. Garry and I were both proud of Morganne for telling Lianna how she felt about Lianna's behavior and for refusing to play along with it. Eventually, Lianna took Morganne's comments to heart and she started playing with the other children in a way that did not hurt the other children's feelings.

These things happen all the time with children. Garry and I both remember situations like this from our own school days. We were glad that Morganne only faces situations like this occasionally, not daily, and that we are able to support her in working them out. When she came to me upset about Lianna's behavior, I was able to reinforce her belief that Lianna was acting badly and that Morganne was right in refusing to hurt other children's feelings.

We believe that the family is the best environment for children, and for adults, for that matter. Morganne is not afraid of being different from other children. She values her own individuality. This is important, we feel, because everyone is different. Morganne wears glasses. At the party was another little girl who refuses to wear her glasses because she's afraid her schoolmates will laugh at her.

IMPORTANT DISCLAIMER: None of this is meant to imply that you won't have awful days as a homeschooler. You will get frustrated. You will find yourself in struggles of will with your child. You will be amazed how all that progress made last week seemed to disappear overnight. But, from hearing others talk, the number of frustrating days dramatically decrease rather than increase when you take your child out of traditional schools.

I wanted to address this point, because it is one of the primary reasons we chose to unschool. Many homeschoolers suffer from "homeschool burnout". I believe this can happen partially because the parents try to turn the home into a formal school. Family-based learning has the potential to be very flexible, very individualized and very in tune with the lifestyle and values of the individual family.

We don't have many struggles with our children, not in family life and certainly not in homeschooling. We have limits and rules, with consequences for anyone who chooses to overstep their bounds or refuses to cooperate. We provide a lot of positive reinforcement as well.

One of the things we're learning from unschooling is that learning doesn't have to be a struggle. There's no need to impose a set number of hours of math or reading on Morganne. There's no need to have expectations for what she should learn by 5.5 or for what she should accomplish in a given week, month or year. She learns. Not by my timetable or my expectations, but by her own. If I'd put a timetable on her, she may have fallen short in a few areas. In others, she's shattered my beliefs about what a 5-year-old is capable of.

I don't believe young children gain much, if anything, from formal schooling. I do believe that children gain a great deal from a healthy family life.