Explaining Homeschooling

Heather:

I agree with a lot of Susan's points.

Our experience has been much different. We've received a lot of positive feedback from strangers, acquaintances and close friends and family for our decision to homeschool. Yes, people ask about the socialization issue. They also express concern and admiration for our willingness to work so hard for our kids (admiration I don't feel we deserve because homeschooling is so easy and pleasurable).

Susan:

In general:

Really, I think it helps in general to have (or act as if you have) a lot of confidence in yourself and what you are doing and communicate that through your words and body language.

Heather:

Yes. I think one of the reasons we get mostly positive responses is that we ourselves are positive about our choice. We believe we're doing the best for our children and our children believe we're doing the best thing for them. When people see Morganne's shining 6.5 year old face and hear her wax enthusiastic about homeschooling, they don't have the heart to say anything negative.

Or perhaps she simply seems like a genius child with her glasses and huge vocabulary. ;-)

Susan:

For truly concerned relatives I would thank them for their concern and listen to them and try not to get into arguments. I do this with my mother-in-law on other topics.

Heather:

And often people are concerned or merely curious. I always assume goodwill on the part of the questioner (unless they immediately identify themselves as public school teachers at which point I develop eagle eyes for any axes they may want to grind).

I answer all questions simply and honestly. If they ask about socialization, I tell them that the term "homeschooler" is a sort of misnomer; we don't really sit at home all the time. We're out and about in the community and our children have plenty of chances to interact with others. Our family is also getting large enough at this point that our children have plenty of chances for social interaction at home.

Here's a chance to slip in a cute story:

This summer has been the year Morganne has decided to master swimming. She and her 2.5 year old sister have been taking swimming lessons together at a program run by two moms, one of whom homeschools. As usual, when Morganne decides she's ready to learn something, she goes straight for the jugular with no detours.

On Tuesday, we went to a local pool with a diving board. Morganne had been learning to dive, but was a bit apprehensive about diving from a board into 9 feet of water. The first several times, she chickened out, but later got up her courage and spent the rest of the day diving with her father and her 14.5 year old half-brother.

We went again yesterday without dad. Morganne and Alex headed straight for the deep end and the diving board while I chased the fearless 2.5 year old around the shallow end, the kiddy pool and the shower. I kept half an eye on the older children and saw that they had become part of the diving board gang and were having a good time, following the rules, patiently standing in line.

This goes to show that a child who has never been to school can still learn the all-important lesson of standing in line.

I was also struck again by Morganne's ability to interact well with people of all ages. She may be one of the few people in this society who does not discriminate against others on the basis of age. She's never had her social perspective limited to her age-mates, so she can allow herself to enjoy the company of two year olds and teenagers and even adults.

I think that it also helps to accentuate the positives of homeschooling rather than the negatives of the alternatives. I talk about what we're doing, the things that Morganne has accomplished, the satisfaction of watching her learn and grow at her own pace and in her own way. This gives people space to be different, to gracefully tell me how wonderful it is that is works so well for us, but it would never work for them because they wouldn't have the patience to sit down and teach Johnny and Johnny wouldn't sit still for it anyway.