One Child's Fears

Everything was going along without much protest until a few days ago. For the last few nights, Alice (5) has been insisting she sleep in our bed with us. We stuck to our guns but we let her sleep as close as possible, right off the bed next to Lisa or I.

This morning, she said something that made us realize what was going through her little head. We were watching a report on the OKC bombing. They showed the two artists drawings of the suspects. Alice said "I will be glad when they catch that other guy so that I won't be afraid to sleep in my room again."

Jim, I'm glad you have an open-heart policy with your children. Imagine the feelings of a young child who is forced to work out her fears of bombers alone, in the dark, at night.

There have been many times when I've felt like I was being taken advantage of at night; that the children were pushing things too far. Only to discover that the reason my children were so needy and clingy was that they were ill or upset or very frightened. So I've been glad to continue our open room/open bed policy.

Morganne went through something very similar during the coverage of the Polly Klaas kidnap-murder crime. At that point, Garry and I talked it over and decided that we'd keep the radio off during coverage of grisly crimes so the children wouldn't be unnecessarily frightened. Of course Morganne can read the story in the newspaper for herself now and the newspaper prominently displays color photos on the front page. Sigh.

Jim's post came at an interesting time for me, a time when I'm reconsidering my parenting philosophies and wondering if we're overprotecting our children. Morganne is sensitive and imaginative and can easily scare the bejabbers out of herself. Nothing new, she's always been like this, but a few recent events have thrown this into relief.

I'm reminded again to trust her process, not to push her. She may be regressing a bit so she can leap forward as she has done so many times before. She may be wrestling with her demons so she can gain mastery over them.

Thanks, Jim, for the reminder.